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Just listened again, re-read the thread, and I'll be interested to see what you do, Cam. This time around I found myself expecting the chorus/bridge/what have you to be longer. That fourth line just hovers without resolution (melodically at least). Even if you did that the first time and then extended it the second (a sort of false cadence), that might take you in a slightly different direction. And not to blindly appeal to trad structure, but without a break or a C section, the ear never comes to rest here. I like the idea of the song being *over before you realize it*, but...
It's fascinating. Both this and your internet dating song are very, very good but there seem to be small things holding them back for me. You've certainly had more meaningful feedback than mine on both so good luck.
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We commit all sorts of injustices at every step without the slightest evil intention. Every minute we are the cause of someone's unhappiness.
~Gogol
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02-06-2010, 09:40 AM
Hybrid Mode
